Ever since I was a wee girl I’ve loved the fairground. Dodgems, ‘The Sticky Wall’, eating candyfloss, making (as yet un-mascarad) eyes at the greasy but exotic man on the waltzers to ensure he pushed you round the fastest.
School trips to Butlins, squashed ‘quartered’ chopped pork sandwiches and wee plastic bottles of Irn Bru gently warming at the bottom of my school bag under the spare set of clothes my mammy would pack for me in case I fell in water(and I always did).
My memories of fairgrounds and holiday camps consist of the non-stop fun of Pontins in Morcombe, the Mexican hat in Ayr and the town that never sleeps….Burntisland. We had no foreign holidays, spent the summer holidays at our Uncle John’s in Ardrossan and thought that Newcastle was the most exotic place in the world…….they didn’t sound like us and we liked it!
This weekend, the Pirate and I decided to relive these glorious moments of our youth, in the days when he was young and I was good looking….Yes, we went to Disney!
For four days we stuffed our (now chubby) little faces with hot dogs, wine, freshly baked croissants, cakes that resembled works of art(I suspect very few come to the UK and take pictures of the jaffa cake donuts in Greggs) and ate our body weight several times over in goats cheese.
We went on so many roller coasters that I think my vital organs now look like a game of ‘Operation’ with my hair acquiring a bouffant that Nancy Reagan would have been envious of.
It was amazing. Despite being surrounded by more children that I have ever seen accumulatively through my entire life, we didn’t let that stop us. Being an adult in a child’s world has it’s advantages.
You make a horrible face, they get frightened and move out of the way, this results in you getting further and further up the queue to meet Mickey Mouse. Also, because they have short legs, they can’t run very fast so you always get to the rides first. They are smaller than we are and don’t reach the counter in shops, this means the assistants can’t see them and always serve you first….. What’s not to love.
Whilst taking a picture of the Pirate in front of the ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ ride, a wee girl came up and naturally assumed that the UP with his untamed locks was part of the attraction. A child has now gone home with a picture of the big yin in her Disney album….poor wean.
To those who shudder at the thought of spending a weekend away from the real world surrounded by 80,000 children, men trussed up as Chipmunks and a woman in a Minnie Mouse suit constantly warbling “it’s just like we dreamed it”…I say go….I beg you to go and give your inner child an airing.
Jacqx





















