Manage to catch the Pasadena Scots Pipe Band’s paying us a visit this week at the Art School!

Pasadena Scots Pipe Band

You hear people talk of NEDS, Hoodies, Sunday Post Readers(steady, kidding!) as being the social groups relentlessly attacking our society.
Dragging us down, inciting such inner rage that we resort on occasion to vigilantism.
People, you are being deceived. There is a single venomous home grown threat, which continually tries to assault our civil liberties and that my friends is the Scottish Midge.

For my whole life I have served as the equivalent as fish and chips to these evil, pain inflicting, nasty little blood suckers……well I say……NO MORE MR MIDGE.
For friends…..I have found the answer.
SMIDGE

After spending 3 weekends in midge infested territory, I came home with the grand total of 4, yes 4 bites. To put this into perspective, I historically would have 4 bites on one eyelid. The rest of my freckled and now pink blotchy bitten self(I’m not getting a date after this I know) resembling John Merrick’s cousin Nelly, with around 100 bites per limb.

I’ve tried everything known to man, and I mean everything, from smearing hair gel on my peely walley pins, to trying to outrun them(read something in a novel once about going faster than 15 mph)…it doesn’t work.
So today, I would like to raise my hat to the geniuses from The Scottish Midge Forecast www.midgeforecast.co.uk who created Smidge.
Please let it be known Sirs and Madams that we at Urban Pirate heart you.

Smidge……buy it.

Although we had a fab weekend last week, something has been playing on my mind and I feel the need to confess and seek forgiveness.
Wee lady comes up to the Stall. “Do you have kids sizes”.
“No, sorry, doing them for Christmas though” we replied cheerily.
“What about this one, isn’t this a kids one?” She said holding up a “ladies fit” Caber t shirt.
“Er, that’s actually a ladies tee-shirt, sorry”.
“Auch, but he’s only 9, the laddie wulnae know the difference, wul eh”.
Now at this point we should have stopped this generous grannie in her tracks. We should have pointed out that this tee was for the lassies. But we didn’t.

Now all I can think about is this poor wee laddie going out for a game of footie proudly wearing his new “present”, only for the other boys to stop in their tracks and ….wait a minute, something isn’t quite right with that tee-shirt.

What will they notice first, will it be the synched waist, designed to highlight feminine curves to maximum effect, or  will it be the gentle cup sleeves which are meant to come over the shoulders and sometimes bingo wings of beguiling beauties.

All I can say is that I hope he gets away with it, we better get our finger out and get the kids range done.. .and most of all…… shame on you grannie!